


Calling You Up

by Spark_Stark



Series: To Bring You Back Home [2]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Autistic Spencer Reid, Episode: s02e15 Revelations, Feelings Realization, Hotch helps Spencer detox, M/M, Mentions of drugs, Pre-Slash, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:47:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25164910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spark_Stark/pseuds/Spark_Stark
Summary: It's been a month since Hankel and Spencer decides that he can't go on this way.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Series: To Bring You Back Home [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1820395
Comments: 16
Kudos: 339





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this work contains references to drug use which may trigger some people.

When Spencer woke up on the floor of his shower, freezing under the spray of the now cold water, he decided that this was his rock bottom. He needed to stop. 

It wasn't just the drugs. Everybody on the team knew that there was something wrong with him, but nobody said anything. They looked at him when they thought he wasn't paying attention, they walked on eggshells around him. Morgan didn't insist on going out on Friday nights anymore. JJ declined his offer for beer when she came over, opting for coffee instead. Sometimes even water. 

Meeting sketchy men in back alleys who handed over forged prescriptions in exchange for cash. When he felt the first signs of dependency, he had simply dismissed it and taken more. When he felt the first signs of tolerance, he had simply dismissed it and taken more. He just kept taking more. 

He felt disgusting, He was still in his clothes, soaking wet from head to toe, and a needle by his side. He didn't know how long he had been there, his mind was too blurry to try figure it out. 

And then he was crying. 

It had to stop. 

He got out of the shower and stripped down, dried himself and put on a fresh pair of pajamas. Then he paused. For once in Spencer's life, he didn't know what to do. What should he do? He hadn't been in a situation like this before, hadn't even been around somebody in a situation like this. He resorted to logic, what was the logical thing to do? He needed to remove all temptations from him, had to get rid of all the dilaudid. He had to delete his dealer's number. 

He needed to take time off work.

Just enough time to detox. It was Thursday night now, he could be clean for Monday. Which meant he needed to call in sick tomorrow. He had to call Hotch. He hated phone calls. 

Reid (7.52pm)  
Hey Hotch, is it ok if I call you? 

Hotch (7.55pm)  
Yes, that is fine. 

Reid took a deep breath and hit dial before he could talk himself out of it. Hotch picked up after the first ring. "Hello, Reid. Is everything alright?" Reid nodded before he remembered that his boss couldn't see him. 

"Um, Yeah. Well-" His voice wavered and he cursed himself for not planning a script out in his mind previous to calling. "I can't come in tomorrow." He said quickly. 

He heard a scuffle on the other end of the line. "That's okay. Is it personal?" Hotch asked, concern laced in his voice. 

"Yes" He answered shortly. One word answers were his friend. 

Hotch felt the silence of no explanation. He knew that was not a good sign. "Is your mom okay?" He prompted. 

"Yeah, she's good." He bit his tongue to stop himself from saying more. One word answers only. 

"Okay, I'm coming over." 

Spencer froze. "Wha- No! Hotch." He panicked. 

"You're not going to tell me over the phone and this is clearly important, if you won't tell me as your boss at least talk to me as your friend. This is obviously serious, you never request time off-" 

"Don't profile me, Hotch." He had meant to sound angry. Because he was angry. But he was tired and pathetic and that's exactly how the words came out over the phone. "Please." He whispered. 

He felt the other man slump his shoulders, even if he couldn't see it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm leaving the office now. I'll be over soon." He hung up without waiting for a reply. A single tear escaped from Spencer's eye and rolled slowly down his face. He didn't move until Hotch opened the door. 

-

It was dark and eerily quiet when Hotch unlocked the door with his spare key to Reid's apartment. Spencer never left anything plugged in after he was finished using it. He hated the sound of the electricity. 'Sensory Hell' he had called it. He didn't have a radio or music playing in the background, nor a TV showing reruns. Not even the sound of a dishwasher at work. Reid cleaned all his dishes by hand. It saved water and energy. 

Spencer was standing in the centre of the room, his cell phone still clutched tightly in his hand. His hair was damp and knotted but his clothes -pajamas- were flat and crisp. Blue plaid cotton bottoms and a white long sleeved t shirt. Hotch hadn't expected anything else, except maybe a Star Trek onesie. So contradictory to Hotch's own attire. Still dressed sharply in his usual dark suit and tie. Both men were slightly predictable. 

When another tear made itself known on Spencer's cheek, Hotch stepped forward to wipe it away with his thumb. Spencer's eyes never leaving him. "I'm sorry." 

"You have nothing to be sorry for Spencer."

Reid sniffed and looked down at the ground. At his mismatched socks. His mother always said that mismatched socks brought good luck. He certainly didn't feel like he was on the receiving end of any good luck recently. "I'm weak." He stated. 

Hotch took a step back from him. "How is that?" He asked softly. When Spencer failed to form words on his tongue, he guided the younger man to the couch in the centre of the living room. They both sat down together, knees brushing. The contact helped Spencer. 

"I won't let myself be weak anymore. I'm going to be strong. I just need this weekend. And then i'll be fine." He still didn't look at Hotch. 

A warm sensation appeared on the back of Reid's neck, dragging his eyes from his feet to his boss. Hotch had placed his hand on the back of his neck. It felt nice. It felt so nice. "You're already strong." 

Spencer shook his head. "No i'm not. I'm numb. I can't stand the pain so I numb it. I'm not strong." 

It was clear that Hotch had pieced the puzzle together. "You're going to stop?" He asked quietly. As if somebody would over hear them alone in the dim apartment. Spencer nodded. "I'm going to help." 

"What?" Spencer looked at Hotch more intensely. His mind was still fuzzy. 

"Starting tonight. We're going to detox and order pizza and watch your sci-fi shows on the couch until Sunday. And then we're going back to work on Monday and we will be strong again." Hotch said with conviction and motive. 

Reid was completely lost. "But you're not..." 

Hotch smiled sadly. "No, I'm not. But you are. And we're friends. So we are in this together. It's us." He explained. 

The hesitation was clear on Reid's face. "You don't have to keep saying that we're friends." He mumbled. 

"Why not?"

"Because we're not." Spencer said. He sounded so small and far away to Hotch, but he was still touching the back of his neck. 

Reid wasn't looking, but if he had been, he would have seen the hurt that crossed Hotch's expressions. "Yes we are." Hotch said defensively. All his recent memories with Spencer crossed through his mind. Lunches at their favourite diner ten minutes from Quantico. Late night texts about funny things that had happened to them that day. Sharing secrets during their down time on cases. Surely they were friends. Or had he read the situation completely wrong. "I... I'm sorry. I thought we were-"

Spencer deflated as he listened to Hotch doubt himself and stumble over his words. There was clear evidence of sadness in his voice. Spencer had upset him. He hated himself for that. "No! I just thought you were trying to be nice to me. Like you pitied me or something. I want to be friends." 

Hotch smiled. "I want to be friends too." There was something missing from that sentence. It was true, but not to it's fullest extent. He'd be a fool to try to deny to himself that his feeling for Spencer had started to develop past what qualifies as simple friendship recently. But here was not the time or place for that conversation. Spencer needed a friend to help him through his detox. And that's what Hotch was going to be.


	2. Chapter 2

The worst of it had passed by Sunday. He was mostly just tired and dehydrated. When Hotch had found out just how bad Spencer's addiction had gotten, he had gently suggested that he should go to a detox centre. Spencer was quick to reject. "Nobody can know about this, Hotch. Please." There was very little he could do when Spencer said please.

So they had spent the weekend doing exactly what Hotch had said on Thursday night. Although Reid hadn't eaten much of the pizza, and any that he did had eventually come back up later. It was particularly bad on Friday night. Well, Saturday morning. Spencer was shaking with the cold despite that he was wearing his pajamas, a cardigan and was wrapped in a blanket. They were sitting on the couch with Firefly on the tv when Spencer had slid closer to Hotch's side. That's when the man had noticed his shaking. "Spencer, you're shaking." He stated, the worry evident on his face. 

Spencer's teeth were not yet chattering. "I'm cold." He pulled the blanket further around himself. 

"Come here, i'm warm." Hotch instructed. He was leaning against the armrest with his right shoulder, lifting his left arm to welcome Spencer in. Spencer didn't hesitate before moving up beside Hotch and leaning into the warmth. "Better?" Hotch asked after a minute when he felt the shaking slow. 

"Better." Spencer replied. His ducked his head so that Hotch wouldn't see the smile that he was struggling to keep off his face. The sound of the tv was the only noise in the room for awhile. It was Spencer who broke the silence first. "Now I know why Garcia calls you 'Hot Stuff'" He joked. Hotch was glad to hear the humour return to Spencer after two sombre days. 

"Garcia calls me that?" He asked, turning his head to look down at Reid. The man looked back up at him and laughed. 

Hotch smiled at the sight. "She has nicknames for everybody." Reid said, as if it was an obvious answer, but then again, wasn't every answer obvious to Spencer? Most things anyways. 

The older man cringed. "Nicknames? Plural?" He asked. Spencer nodded against his side. "Do I want to know the others?" 

Reid smiled. "Would you rather I list them alphabetically or chronologically starting from the most recent?"

It was the most Spencer had spoken since Hotch had showed up on Thursday. "How about in order of most frequently used?" He suggested. Reid smiled again. He thought for a moment before starting to rattle off names and numbers. Hotch was happy to sit and listen to him talk, he was always willing to listen to Spencer talk. It was one of the things that he found most attractive about him, he talked with such confidence all the time. 

"And then she called you Principal Skinner. Morgan laughed at that for twenty minutes but I didn't get the joke. I think that made it funnier for him." 

Hotch gasped overdramatically. "I am so not like Principal Skinner." He muttered. 

"Hopscotch, she only said that once. It was funny though." 

He held up his hand. "Wait, I have a question." He said. Reid looked up at him. "Is it only Garcia who has nicknames for me?" He asked suspiciously. 

Reid bit his lip. "Um, yeah." A clear lie. They both knew it, but Hotch said nothing more on the matter. 

The two men sat in tranquillity for a long time, Hotch wasn't sure how long, but he was certain that Reid would've. He was content, his left side comfortably warm from Spencer leaning against him. He hadn't noticed that the man had put his hand on Hotch's stomach until he began tracing patterns against his t-shirt. When Spencer yawned, he was drawn from his daydream. "You should probably go to bed." He suggested softly, although that was the last thing he wanted Spencer to do. 

What he hadn't expected was Spencer's protest. "This is comfy. Sleep here." His speech slightly slurred from his tired state. Hotch couldn't control the smile that spread across his lips. 

"Okay." He agreed. His voice so quiet as if he was afraid that if he raised his voice Reid would change his mind. How little did he know that Spencer wanted this just as much as he did. "But you need to drink more water first." He instructed. 

"Only if you promise to stay here." Reid grabbed at the shirt he had been delicately grazing. Afraid that if Hotch stood up, he would never sit back down beside him. 

Hotch was speechless. He hadn't felt the heat rush to his cheeks since he was in high school. The rational part of his brain told him that he was just lusting for the attention that he had forfeited after separating with Haley. But that wasn't really true, was it? "I promise." He said earnestly. Reid let go of his t-shirt and he regretfully stood up and walked to the kitchenette to refill Spencer's glass. 

He saw Spencer sit up straight on the couch. "Um, can you bring my- There's a yellow pill bottle in the cupboard under the sink." He stuttered. His embarrassment getting the better of him. 

The hesitance from Hotch was obvious. "What's in the bottle?" He asked, his tone aiming for non-confrontational. 

Spencer gave him a sad smile. "Relax, they're not narcotics." He gave as way of explanation, but both men knew he was avoiding the question. Hotch brought the small pill bottle in with him as well as the aforementioned glass of water. He gave both over to Spencer's waiting hands. Hotch walked to the far wall and turned off the television, and then unplugged it from the wall. He returned to Spencer's side, sat down again and tried not to watch as Spencer unscrewed the cap and swallowed one pill with a small sip of water. "They're selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors." He whispered. 

He heard Hotch's sharp intake of breath. "How long have you been on them?" He asked softly. 

"Seven months." Spencer confessed. 

Hotch felt something inside of him break. "Why didn't you tell me?" 

Spencer took another sip of water. "I don't know." He replied. It was the truth, he hadn't known why he didn't mention it to Hotch. He knew he should have, even from a professional point of view. It was important to inform your boss that you were taking prescribed anti-depressants, especially in Reid's circumstances as an active agent. Neither man said anything for a minute. There wasn't much to say. 

"Alright, let's lie down." Hotch said. Spencer turned to him, his eyes were hopeful if not disbelieving. Hotch lifted his arm again and Spencer dutifully ducked into the embrace. They fell into a laying down position, with Spencer slightly on top of Hotch. His hand returned to the clothed stomach and Hotch closed his eyes. Spencer hummed contently. The silence of the apartment entwined with Hotch's scent of coffee and paper had him in a sensory bliss. It wasn't long before he fell asleep.


End file.
